VAMPIRES OF THE VELVET LOUNGE
(director/writer: Adam Sherman; cinematographer: David Newbert; editor: Miran Mjosic; music: Bear McCreary; cast: Mena Suvari (Countess Elizabeth Bathory), Dichen Lachman (Cora, Vampire hunter), Timothy W. Murphy (Eric), Sara Dumont (Helena), Will Redmond (Reggie), Stephen Dorff (Randall/Ramsey), Tyrese Gibson (Luke), Lochlyn Munro (Malcolm), India Eisley (Joan), Tom Berenger (Albert), Rosa Salazar (Alexis), Mark Boone Junior (Chuck); Runtime: 105; MPAA Rating: NR; producers: Marcus Englefield, George Lee, Adam Sherman; Strand Releasing; 2026)
“It’s so bad that it’s really bad.”
Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz
A cheesy and wheezy low-budget vampire flick confusingly directed and written by Adam Sherman (“She’s Just a Shadow”/”The Game’s Called Murder”) as a horror/comedy. It’s so bad that it’s really bad, as it tries too hard to find something to say about vampires that hasn’t already been said.
The Countess Elizabeth Bathory (Mena Suvari), with a colorful history, is a seductive 400-year-old vampire who lives in Savannah, Georgia and operates an absinthe bar. She uses her website, a dating app and social media to lure lonely men to her bar to suck their blood. She partners with two other female vampires, Helena (Sara Dumont) and Joan (India Eisley), while the bar is protected by her club bouncer Chuck (Mark Boone Junior).
Three middle-aged lonely men, all friends–the lawyer Randall (Stephen Dorff), Luke (Tyrese Gibson) and Malcolm (Lochlyn Munro)–get trapped inside their velvet lounge hangout while seeking female companionship.
The only hope for the trapped men is Cora (Dichen Lachman), a female ‘vampire hunter,’ with military fighting experience, who is assisted by her partner Alexis (Rosa Salazar). They are part of a secret cult led by Albert (Tom Berenger), pledged to kill vampires.
This odious film foolishly attempts to be a parody of vampire pics. It’s one of the more disappointing vampire flicks I’ve seen, and I’ve seen my share of clunkers.
REVIEWED ON 4/5/2026 GRADE: D
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