PRIVATE RESORT

(director: George Bowers; screenwriters: Gordomn Mitchell/story by Gordon Mitchell, Ken Segall & Alan Wenkus; cinematographer: Adam Greenberg; editor: Sam Pollard; music: ; cast:  Rob Morrow (Ben), Johnny Depp (Jack), Dody Goodman (Amanda Rawlings), Karyn O’Brien(Dana Rawlings), Hector Elizado (The Maestro), Tony Azito (Reeves), Emily Longstreth(Patti), Lesley Easterbrook (Bobbi Sue), Andrew Dice Clay (Curt), Ron House (Barber), Hilary Shapiro (Shirley), Lisa London (Lisa, Dice’s drunk gf), Matthew Levine (The playful George) Greg Wynne (Mike), Nora Gaye (Kelly); Runtime: 82; MPAA Rating: R; producers: Don Enright/R. Ben Efraim; TriStar/Sony Pictures Home Entertainment; 1985)

“An unfunny lowbrow comedy.”

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

An unfunny lowbrow comedy directed by the noted editor George Bowers  (“My Tutor”/”Body and Soul”) from a story by Gordon Mitchell, Ken Segall & Alan Wenkus. Johnny Depp has a starring role in one of his weaker earliest films.

Two teens, Ben (Rob Morrow) and Jack (Johnny Depp), at a posh Miami Beach resort during Spring Break chase after the bikini-clad girls. Also at the resort is the Maestro (Hector Elizado), a jewel thief who dresses in drag and who has his eye on the diamond necklace of a wealthy guest (Dody Goodman).

The main gag has Ben mistaken for the hotel barber and giving the Maestro a bum haircut, that gets the jewel thief so mad Ben must also dress in drag to escape from his clutches.

Other things to watch for is Depp in the nude, Emily Longstreth as the hotel waitress Morrow has the hots for, Tony Azito (a stage actor) as the bumbling head of hotel security, the hottie Linda Easterbrook in a see-through gown, Karyn O’Brien as Dody’s granddaughter and Depp’s romantic interest, and a thuggish Andrew Dice Clay trying to score a blonde while with someone else.

REVIEWED ON 5/2/2017       GRADE: C+