Traci Lords in Not of This Earth (1988)


(director/writer: Jim Wynorski; screenwriters: R.J. Robertson/based on the screenplay by Charles B. Griffith & Mark Hanna; cinematographer: Zoran Hochstatter; editor: Kevin Tent; music: Chuck Cirino; cast: Traci Lords (Nadine Story), Arthur Roberts (Mr Johnson), Lenny Juliano (Jeremy Perrin), Roger Lodge (Harry Sherborne), Ace Mask (Dr Rochelle), Rebecca Perle (Alien Girl), Monique Gabrielle (bag lady),Becky LeBeau(Happy birthday stripper girl), Roxane Kernohan (Lead hooker), Ava Cadell (Second hooker), Cynthia Thompson (Third hooker), Michael Delano (Vacuum salesman); Runtime: 81; MPAA Rating: R; producers: Jim Wynorski/Murray Miller; Shout Factory; 1988)

A film in need of a blood transfusion, that remakes a bad film and only makes it worse.

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

Exploitation filmmaker Jim Wynorski (“Chopping Mall”/”Deathstalker 11″/”The Lost Empire”)on a low-budget and in less than 12 days pointlessly remakes Roger Corman’s 1957 minor sci-fi pic, with Corman’s approval, and turns it into a bigger piece of crap than the original–that’s lacking imagination and humor.Only reason for watching this bore is 20-year-old porn star Traci Lords is in the Beverly Garland role and shows off her titties and you get a chance to judge her acting chops.

The alienMr. Johnson (Arthur Roberts), from the planetDavanna, dressed in a suit, a fedora and sunglasses (whoever dressed like that obviously must either be an alien or a Blues Brother), arrives on earth to see if human blood can be used as a substitute for his more evolved aliens who are facing a blood shortage crisis due to their bood evaporating and as a result their race might soon be extinct. The mysterious Johnson passes as a human and pays well to hire Dr. Rochelle’s (Ace Mask) nurse, Nadine Story (Traci Lords), to be his private nurse assisting him in his transfusions for his strange blood condition and also hires petty criminal Jeremy (Lenny Juliano) to be his manservant. Soon Nadine and her cop boyfriend Harry (Roger Lodge) become suspicious of Johnson and are alarmed that a number of people (like three busty prostitutes) enter his residence but never leave.

It’s a film in need of a blood transfusion, that remakes a bad film and only makes it worse.