BAD MAN’S RIVER
(director/writer: Gene Martin; screenwriter: Philip Yordan; cinematographer: Alejandro Ulloa; editor: Antonio Ramirez de Loaysa; music: Waldo de los Rios; cast: Lee Van Cleef (Roy King), James Mason (Francisco Paco Montero), Gina Lollobrigida (Alicia), Diana Lorys (Dolores), Angel Santos (Simon Andreu), John Garko (Ed Pace), Jess Hahn (Tom Odie), Aldo Sambrell (Canales), Sergio Fantoni (Col. Enrique Fierro), Eduardo Fujardo (General Duarte); Runtime: 92; MPAA Rating: PG; producer: Bernard Gordon; Zurbano Films/Amazon/Kino; 1971)
“Unfunny comical Western.”
Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz
The title is taken from the rock song “Bad Man’s River.”
Director/writer Gene Martin (“Horror Express”/”The Ugly Ones”) was born in Spain. The film was shot in Madrid. He co-writes this unfunny comical Western with Philip Yordan (the great Hollywood screenwriter wrote Johnny Guitar and this piece of garbage). Nothing works in this absurd jokey old-time Western.
The bowler hat wearing Roy King (Lee Van Cleef) and his 3 pals-Angel Santos (Simon Andreu), Ed Pace (John Garko), and Tom Odie (Jess Hahn) rob a bank in Texas and leave town by train. They get off at separate stops. Roy is alone when the alluring widow Alicia (Gina Lollobrigida) gets him so aroused he asks the priest traveling with her to marry them. She then has him tied up by her accomplices and robs the money he stole from the bank heist. After he’s locked up in a mental hospital, he escapes and reunites with his 3 pals. Alicia then marries the shifty Montero (James Mason, debut film), an official for the Mexican government who is also a revolutionist and a con man.
Alicia promises all sorts of money to Roy and his crew if they blow up a mission where the Mexican army stores its weapons. Why he would accept a job from someone so untrustworthy is beyond comprehension.
She’s on a river boat transporting them to the mission and they escape on the boat after they blow up the arsenal.
The film switches gears from being a serious action pic to a silly story about the temptress Alicia orchestrating a scam on the government, the revolutionists and on her husbands.
The acting was dreadful (Mason cast as a Mexican is hard to take seriously) and the story was dreadful (it made no sense). Also, the music was dreadful (it featured a weird mix of a barbershop quartet, dance hall music, rock music and ballads). This movie is so dreadful it should even turn off Van Cleef fans.
REVIEWED ON 1/27/2026 GRADE: D
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