RED ONE

(director: Jake Kasdan; screenwriter: Chris Morgan, story by Hiram Garcia; cinematographer: Dan Mindel; editors: Steve Edwards, Mark Helfrich, Tara Timpone; music: Henry Jackman; cast: Dwayne Johnson (Callum Drift), Chris Evans (Jack O’Malley), Lucy Liu (Zoe), J.K. Simmons (Santa), Kiernan Shipka (Gryla), Bonnie Hunt (Mrs. Claus), Kristofer Hivju (Krampus),  Wesley Kimmel (Dylan), Mary Elizabeth Ellis (Olivia); Runtime: 122; MPAA Rating: PG-13; producers: Dany Garcia, Jake Kasdan, Hiram Garcia, Dwayne Johnson, Chris Morgan, Melvin Mar; Amazon MGM Studios; 2024)

“If you want to see a decent X-Mas film, this spiritless and convoluted atrocity is not it.”

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

If you want to see a decent X-Mas film, this spiritless and convoluted atrocity is not it. It’s directed by Jake Kasdan (“Jumanji: The Next Level”/”Bad Teacher”) and written by Chris Morgan from a story by Hiram Garcia. The story is too absurd for adults and too dull for children.
 
The rubbish Yuletide action pic is about Santa (J.K. Simmons) getting kidnapped on Christmas Eve. It offers a slight but bloated story, some awful acting, some unfunny comedy and some dreadful CGIs. It might be one of the worst holiday films ever, even worse than “Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964).”

When Santa goes missing on Christmas Eve, his bodyguard Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson) springs into action by forcing the super tracker Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans), an absentee father to a teenage son (Wesley Kimmel), to lead him to the witch named Gryka (Kiernan Shipka) who took the ‘jolly fat man’ to divert his powers for her own devious purposes.
 
Callum and Jack work with intelligence agency chief Zoe (Lucy Liu), as they take on Gryla’s snowmen thugs when they trek to the North Pole and have a short time to save the holiday.

This cheerless holiday Hollywood film reminds me of a rancid egg nog concoction that’s hard to swallow without gagging.

REVIEWED ON 11/25/2024  GRADE: D
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