IF I HAD LEGS I’D KICK YOU
(director/writer: Mary Bronstein; cinematographer: Christopher Messina; editor: Lucian Johnston; cast: Rose Byrne (Linda), Christian Slater (Charles), Delaney Quinn (Linda’s unnamed daughter), Mary Bronstein (Dr. Spring), A$AP Rocky (James), Ivy Wolk (Diana), Mark Stolzenberg (Parking Attendant), Conan O’Brien (Therapist), Manu Narayan (Landlord), Danielle Macdonald (Caroline), Eva Kornet (Breathworker), Ella Beatty (Kale), Helen Hong (Eva), Daniel Zolghadri (Siephen), Josh Pais (Brad), Ronald Bronstein (Caroline’s husband), Laurence Blum (Police Officer), Lark White (Vanessa), Amy Judd Lieberman (Melanie), Char Sidney (Nurse), Jodi Pynn Gabree (Nurse); Runtime: 113; MPAA Rating: R; producers: Sara Murphy, Ryan Zacarias, Ronald Bronstein, Josh Safdie, Eli Bush, Conor Hanon, Richie Doyle. Mary Bronstein, Rose Byrne; A24; 2025)
“Poignant character study about a mother under duress when caring for her sick child.”
Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz
Writer/director/star Mary Bronstein directs this poignant character study about a mother under duress when caring for her sick child. Bronstein’s last film directed was 17 years ago Yeast (2008).
In New York’s Montauk, Long Island, Linda (Rose Byrne) lives and works as a psychotherapist. When her husband Charles (Christian Slater) is away for eight weeks as a sea captain with the military, Linda is overwhelmed taking care of her terminally ill 7-year-old unnamed daughter (Delaney Quinn) by herself while working full-time. She lives temporarily in a motel when a broken pipe floods her apartment, and the uncaring landlord (Manu Narayan) tells her the repairman won’t be able to fix it right away.
The daughter goes to a clinic headed by Dr. Spring (Mary Bronstein) because of her enigmatic mental illness that makes her not want to eat food, therefore she’s fed through a feeding tube. Dr. Spring is business-like with Phoebe and her mom, offering them no warm support but curt professional courtesy instead. Linda’s therapist (Conan O’Brien) works in the same building as her and offers no warm support to her because he dislikes her.
A big problem arises when the clinic head, Dr. Spring, coldly informs Linda that the feeding tube can’t be removed until her daughter reaches a certain weight. If that doesn’t happen within a prescribed time period Linda will be declared a failed caregiver and she will no longer receive insurance benefits.
Living in the motel further complicates things for the stressed-out Linda.
When the film sticks to its storyline about a distressed mom who tries too hard to be a super-mom but fails, it works fine as dramedy. When it wanders off-track with filler material and undeveloped subplots it looks more like a TV serial sitcom.
What’s great about the dark and humorous film is Byrne’s spot-on performance as the neurotic mom who needs a little help to get by. It might be the best performance I’ve seen this year by an actress.
It played at the Berlin Film Festival.
REVIEWED ON 2/24/2026 GRADE: B
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