GOD FORGIVES … I DON’T (aka: BLOOD RIVER) (DIO PERDONA … IO NO!)

(director/writer: Giuseppi Colizzi; screenwriter: story by Giuseppi Colizzi & Gumersindo Mollo/Gumersindo Mollo; cinematographer: Alfio Contini; editor: Sergio Montanari; music: Ángel Oliver; cast: Terence Hill (Cat Stevens), Bud Spencer (Hutch Bessy), Francisco Sanz (Full-bearded, fawning informant with glasses), Frank Wolff (Bill San Antonio), Gina Rovere (Rose); Runtime: 97; MPAA Rating: NR; producer: Enzo D’Ambrosio; Orion; 1967-Italy/Spain-in English)
“It would be too generous to call this revolting Spaghetti Western just an appetite killer.“

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

It would be too generous to call this revolting Spaghetti Western just an appetite killer. It’s directed by the Italian filmmaker Giuseppi Colizzi(“Switch”/”Boot Hill”/”Ace High”), who cowrote the story and screenplay with Gumersindo Mollo. It’s a below average revenge Western, with the usual trite dialogue and gratuitous violence found in this genre.

A train pulls into El Paso and all the passengers are murdered except one accidentally lives, who identifies the gang’s leader. Also 100,000 dollars worth of gold is stolen. Insurance agent Hutch Bessy (Bud Spencer) and professional gambler/gunslinger Cat Stevens (Terence Hill) meet and decide to team up when the agent mentions that the witness identified the gang led by Bill San Antonio (Frank Wolff), a ruthless gunslinger supposedly killed in a shootout with Cat Stevens over a crooked poker game and then burned in a fire some ten months ago. The agent and the card player team up to find the hidden loot, with the agent wanting to recover the money for the insurance company and the card player wanting to make sure his sworn enemy San Antonio is dead. The plot becomes elaborate when the ruthless train robber and his vicious gang also go after the hidden loot, with San Antonio wanting to get revenge on Cat Stevens.

It’s the first of 19 times thatTerence Hill and Bud Spencer would be paired together. This muddled film is one of their poorer efforts–it’s poorly paced, overlong, tedious and humorless. I didn’t find a thing about it enjoyable. But those who have a strong stomach for all the dumb violence and can overlook the awkward execution of the story, may be the ones best suited for this bloody awful film.

REVIEWED ON 9/19/2010 GRADE: D   https://dennisschwartzreviews.com/