TINTORERA

(TINTORERA: KILLER SHARK)

(director/writer: Rene Cardona Jr.; screenwriters: novel by Roman Bravo/Christina Schuch; cinematographers: Leon Sanchez/Roman Bravo; editors: Peter Zinner/Earle Herdman/Alfredo Rosas Priego; music: Basil Poledouris; cast: Susan George (Gabriella), Hugo Stiglitz (Steve), Andrés García (Miguel), Fiona Lewis (Patricia), Eleazar Garcia ‘Chelelo’ (Crique), Roberto ‘Flaco’ Guzman (Coronado), Jennifer Ashley (Kelly Madison), Laura Lyons (Cynthia Madison), Charles East (Mr. Madison; Runtime: 91; MPAA Rating: R; producers: Gerald Green/Rene Cardona Jr.; MGM/Kino Blu-Ray; 1977-Mex./UK)

A bad shark film that’s good for a few cheap laughs and an eyeful of  nudity.

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

A bad shark film that’s good for a few cheap laughs and an eyeful of nudity. Rene Cardona Jr.  (“Guyana:Crime of the Century”) directs this exploitation film that’s set in the swinging tourist resort of Cancun, where American and Brit girls come to get fucked by Latino studs.

It’s a Jaws rip-off film that’s set in Mexico. In America the tintorera is called a man-eating tiger shark. The dangerous shark is prowling the Cancun beach and no one in the tourist town informs the authorities.

Meanwhile the unlikable charmer Steve (Hugo Stiglitz) is an overworked Mexican businessman, who is hospitalized after drinking seven cups of coffee and smoking three packs of cigarettes in 2 hours. His doctor prescribes rest and relaxation, and Steve’s sister connects with some wealthy friends who will let him use their luxury yacht parked outside the Cancun beach for the next 3 months. When Steve gets there he forgets about rest and chases after all the hot chicks hanging around the beach and bars. He makes it with the sexy Brit tourist Patricia (Fiona Lewis). But she is falling in love with him and becomes afraid of that, so she returns to her Speedo wearing cool Mexican gigolo, Miguel (Andrés García), who profits from his good looks, snappy pick-up lines and sexual prowess, and lives like a prince on the island.

The restless Patricia leaves Miguel’s beach house to go for an early morning ocean swim, but never returns as she’s devoured by the tiger shark. The 2 studs think she deserted them and thereby become best friends, as they commiserate with each other over their loss (not knowing she was eaten by the shark, but thinking she returned to London). The shallow boys team up to chase after the island’s loose women and finally make the resort’s great catch of the sexy Gabriella (Susan George). She forms an harmonious love triangle with them based on 3 principles: no jealousy, no love and no other woman can join.  Meanwhile the dilettante shark hunters now call themselves shark hunters and go on the hunt for the tintorera, knowing one mistake around a killer shark like that could result in their death.

The boys are not content to only seduce the ladies, but make funny eyes at each other and agree to also include a gay romance in their adventure of living only for the moment and their own pleasure. But all good things must come to an end, so when the titular shark threatens Gabby that brings Miguel to the rescue. He saves her but can’t save himself. With the love triangle kaput, Gabby returns to England with a nice tan and sweet memories, while Steve, bless his heart, vows to get the tintorera before he leaves the peaceful island to return to the stressful city.

The film is based on the book by the marine biologist, Roman Bravo, who, if you can believe it, approves that the sharks are getting killed by harpoon guns and then viciously clubbed to death when brought on the boat.

With dreadful acting, a senseless free-love story and a toothless shark story, this politically incorrect melodrama gives off a putrid stink.

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REVIEWED ON 2/24/2021  GRADE: C