HORSEMEN (director: Jonas Åkerlund; screenwriter: David Callaham; cinematographer: Eric Broms; editors: Jim May/Todd E. Miller; music: Jan A.P. Kaczmarek; cast: Dennis Quaid (Detective Aidan Breslin), Lou Taylor Pucci (Alex Breslin), Ziyi Zhang (Kristen Spitz), Clifton Collins, Jr (Detective Stingray), Barry Shabaka Henley (Tuck), Patrick Fugit (Corey Kurth), Eric Balfour (Taylor Kurth), Liam James (Sean Breslin), Chelcie Ross (Police Chief Krupa), Paul Dooley (Father Whitefeather), Peter Stormare (David Spitz), Stephen Eric McIntyre (Banksy) ; Runtime: 110; MPAA Rating: NR; producers: Michael Bay/Andrew Form/ Brad Fuller; Mandate Pictures (Lionsgate Home Entertainment); 2009)
“Cliched police procedural film.”

Reviewed by Dennis Schwartz

The second feature film the former video-director, the Swedish filmmaker Jonas Åkerlund(“Spun”/”Small Apartments”), directed, involves a weakly developed nihilistic dark serial killer plot. David Callaham wrote the blood-soaked script for this derivative of Seven over-the-top torture-horror film. It uses the Book of Revelation for a point of reference to the crimes. It involves the tracking down of four brutal murders. Dennis Quaid stars as the workaholic widowed cop, raising two boys alone, is the investigator who goes from one crime scene to another in his investigation. All the clues are biblical. The sole suspect is a stark-mad killer named Kristen (Ziyi Zhang). The key role is badly played by a miscast Zhang.

The cliched police procedural film has many imitators and is watchable to a point. But the film unravels as it becomes hysterical and increasingly inane as it crawls into the third act. That it’s mostly crap should come as little surprise, since the mediocre producer Michael Bay has his fingerprints all over it. Quaid is asked to investigate because he wrote a thesis on forensic orthodontistry and the first vic had his teeth removed and left on a silver platter in the midst of a frozen lake. At the crime scene were written the words ‘Come and See.’ As far as I know, that’s the Buddha’s come on to potential followers. Other vics emerge strung up in custom-made harnesses, with fishhooks piercing their backs and the same ‘Come and See’ message is written.The cop figures the psycho killer is attempting to send warnings about biblical prophesies in regards to the coming of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

The Michael Bay Platinum Dunes production was a box-office and critical fiasco.

REVIEWED ON 1/21/2016 GRADE: C+

Dennis Schwartz: “Ozus’ World Movie Reviews”

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